Wednesday, 24 August 2011

The Way That Is Best For Your Child

You say I raised all my children the same way, how come this one is a problem?
1. Congratulations on succeeding with your other kids! You are ahead of the curve. A good family rule is: Pray about your shortcomings; focus on your successes. Don’t obsess over one particular child, short-changing the others of your time and attention. Though it doesn’t feel natural, reduce your intense concentration on your problem child. Stop fixing them, enjoy all your children and watch things improve.

2. Children develop at different rates and in different ways. Many problem children are just late arrivers; give them the time they need.

3. Most family have a ‘black sheep’. They make us uncomfortable by not going through life like the rest of us. Accept what you don’t like about them until God either changes them or teaches the family mature, unconditional, non-controlling love through them.

4. Do your best as an imperfect but loving parent, then your children, not you, make their own choices.

The prophet Samuel’s sons did not walk in his ways. They turned aside after dishonest gain and accepted bribes and perverted justice (1 Samuel 8:3 NIV). Embarrassing and disappointing, yes! But no charge of spiritual or parental failure is Samuel’s doorstep. As godly a man as ever lived, he walked the talk. But when push came to shove, his sons had their options and chose not to do likewise.
However dysfunctional your child may be, under God their asset is a parent who responds by faith, not by fixing, by praying, not prying, and who gets out of God’s way and let Him work.

You say, “She is such an obedient child, but her brother breaks every rule!” Or, “Our first child is so organized; our second is a disaster area! Children are created unique. Dealing with that reality is a parent’s great challenge. Look at God’s directives in Proverbs 22:6

1. Train up a child. Thoughtful, loving, productive, happy don’t just evolve; they are trained. Our latchkey generation has proved ‘A child left to himself disgraces his parents’ (Proverbs 29:15 NIV). Wise parents choose their child’s direction, then maintain it by positive reinforcement and consistent discipline. They mould their child’s attitude and behavior in line with God’s Word. Solomon’s reference to a child in this Scripture indicates a pre-teen who can still be moulded. If you miss those early training years your job is tough, but with God’s help, not impossible.

2. In the way he should go. Ever heard of cross-grain parenting? It is trying to make your child something they are not meant to be. Forcing square pegs into round holes invites rebellion in spirited kids and creativity-destroying conformity in compliant ones. This Scripture in The Amplified Bible advocates training a child, In the way in keeping with his individual gift or bent. Study your child’s gift, then direct them accordingly. Putting square pegs into square holes reduces resistances, invites cooperation and recognizes your child’s God-ordained destiny. When it is their path, not yours, they will commit to it.

3. When he is old he will not depart from it. When they are in the place God designed them for, nobody needs to manipulate, control or threaten them. They are interested, creative, challenged, fulfilled and happy to grow up in the square hole God shaped for them.

No comments:

Post a Comment